|Me at the 2010 LA Full Figured Fashion Week Afterparty|
I know it's been forever, and I can only say for that I'm sorry. The 2 of you who have looked at this blog awaiting an update (hi Mom and Dad, lol!) I know have been disappointing in the lack of posts, but I've been trying to get my mind together.
Really, I've been trying to figure out what I have to say and what makes my voice unique in what feels like an endless sea of blogs in the internet. From entertainment to weight loss to fashion to fatshion to beauty, there are just so many things to read out there, it's hard to distinguish yourself.
But I wouldn't be me if I didn't try.
|Me on the red carpet at the 2011 NY Film Festival|
So here goes the few reasons why i can only hope that you would care to read what I have to say.
I'm a complicated but confident woman who is plus size working in two industries that have pretty much a zero tolerance for women above a size 6. I'm not complaining. I love what I do. But it's not always what you see in Facebook photos and tweets. Let's be honest, whose life really is? My goal is to be honest. To be truthful and up front. You may not like all that I have to say, but I hope that you can respect it and that it affects even one person out there who reads it (again, shout out to my mommy!).
I love working in television. But it's a notoriously competitive, brutal industry. And I've faced my fair share of brutal moments. If you have even one fracture in your self confidence, this business will chew you up, spit you out and feed your soul's remains to the dogs. Ok, that was ridiculously dramatic, but you see where I'm going with this.
Yes, I'm a plus size model, but I have struggled beyond words in that industry. I get a lot of messages from young women asking me how to get started and truthfully, I don't always know how to answer. Because I have had to fight tooth and nail to get every little scrap I have. I'm so proud of the things I have accomplished, but it has not been easy. To say the least.
I also am struggling to find the weight and size I really want to be. I know I know, as a plus size model you're not supposed to say that. But I'm going to say whatever I want. I love myself, I love my body for the amazing things it does and I'm proud to show off when I feel beautiful, sexy, confident and happy. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to be honest. And isn't that the whole purpose of this movement to include plus women, that we ALL have permission to be the size we want and still be fashionable and feel beautiful? I'm not at MY ideal in MY mind and I want to share that with all of you.
Moreover, I want to share with you my journey back to health because I have not been the healthiest I could have been. But I'm working to change that. I'm learning about myself. About the athlete inside of me and all the things she can do. I hope you understand that.
Oh and of course I'll talk about celebrities. DUH! Lol.
So I hope you will stay tuned. And I hope you'll enjoy the ride.
|Now let's drink and be merry!|